"test me in this..."

"Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."(Malachi 3:10)

I read this verse on my dear friend Andrea's blog a few weeks ago. I have gotten the amazing privilege of getting a front row seat to watch all that God has prepared and is currently accomplishing through her, her husband, and their sweet Elli Kate. After reading this verse, it stuck with me. I printed it out on a big piece of paper and taped it to the back of my front door. Every time I would leave my house I would be struck with this promise from God. Let me now tell you just how mighty our God is to provide...

The first part of this verse (I didn't include it) talks about tithing and bringing what you have before the Lord. I must be honest, I have always struggled with tithing...not giving, that's different to me, but tithing. It has been a hard topic for me. Have we been faithful tithers over the past few years? Yes. Have I always done it with a joyful and non-judgmental heart? Heck no! And there was my problem. I would get bitter sometimes when I would look at the budget and try to plug-in numbers that just didn't fit. I would get bitter at having to decrease my grocery budget or my eating out budget in order to get bills paid. Too many times (more than I'd like to admit), I've been tempted to "adjust" our tithe amount so that I wouldn't have to cut out something else. This has really been where Satan has been tempting me lately! Grr!

For example, the first packet I received about my and Malachi's health insurance (going onto COBRA) came about a week ago and stated our cost would be $878 every month!!!! AHHHHH!!!! I was FREAKING OUT!! How in the world could we pull practically another rent payment out of thin air every month AND handle the added expense of a new baby soon???!!!?!? Satan was tempting me BIG TIME about using our tithe money to off-set some of that cost...

"Test me in this..."

I remember very distinctly telling God that I was letting go of this fear I had (the fear of not being able to pay everything we needed to) and "putting Him to the test". Over and over again He has shown Himself to be Provider, Healer, Sustainer, Giver, Father, Friend, Peace, Patience, and Savior...yet it's like I conveniently "forget" the one attribute of His that I currently need Him to be. Stupid, huh?

Well, we "put God to the test" as this verse declared...

...and my eyes are filling up with tears at how He's thrown open the floodgates of blessing for us!!!!!!

When we got home from some errands today, I went to the mailbox to check the mail and saw a letter from Cy-Fair ISD with red letters: "Employee Benefits Information Enclosed". I was thinking, "Oh crap! What form didn't I fill out?!" Well, it turns out that our monthly premium will NOT be $878......

It will be $514!!!!!!

Hormones or not, I'm sitting here crying like a baby because a HUMONGOUS weight has just been lifted!!! You have no idea what a spiritual battle I've been having lately and this beautiful piece of paper from my mailbox just reassured my meager faith. Praise our Father who throws open the floodgates of blessing to His faithful ones...even the faithful ones who aren't always so ready to trust!

WHEW!

unworthy of such blessing,

the milillo fam